I’m sure many of you were taken back to see a blog post about sex. But, what I’m about to share is something I believe God has been laying on my heart for a while now. Although this is a super personal topic and something that takes a lot of vulnerability to even talk about, I pray that our story may encourage others, especially young people as you begin dating and preparing for marriage. With the platform we have been given, I pray that others may be encouraged to know that they are not alone in this fight, and that it is possible to wait! We dated and waited for over five years and our story is proof of God’s faithfulness in allowing us to wait until our wedding night to have sex.
When I was 13 years old, I remember sitting down and making a promise to myself. I vowed to wait until I was married to have sex, and to share that special gift with the one I would spend my life with. I sat down at my computer and wrote out a letter to my future husband. In that letter I shared my heart and my desires with him, and even though at this point I had no idea who he would be, I vowed to wait for him, and to pray for him until that day came. I knew that just as I would go through difficult situations and face many temptations in the future, so would he. I knew it was so important to pray for him, and to pray that the Lord would keep him and save him for me and me alone.
Growing up, I remember praying time and time again for my future husband. I would journal about him, and share my heart with God about what I desired. I can clearly remember the moment when I knew that I wanted to spend forever with Brandon. I remember going back and rereading my letter I had written and just crying. I read the heart of my 13 year old self, clearly realizing that the things that I wrote about and the desires I had shared and asked God for were some of my favorite parts about Brandon. Everything I had desired and listed in my future spouse God fulfilled through Brandon. What a special moment it was when I got to read and share that letter with him after all of these years.
Brandon and I dated for around five years before getting married, and if I am being honest, there were times when it was extremely difficult to continue to remain pure. As you grow and fall in love with someone, it is only natural to begin to have a stronger physical connection. Sometimes I think people look at our story and our past relationship and think that our journey was smooth sailing, and that we can’t possibly relate to what they are going through, or the struggles they are facing. But that is the farthest thing from the truth. Our five years were extremely difficult, and temptation was always there. Brandon and I faced many difficult situations dating, and had many ups and downs. But for us, it came down to us a promise we made to each other, and more importantly, to God.
For me, knowing that Brandon loved me enough to save himself for me is something I will cherish forever. As we dated, Brandon loved me and pursued me in such a pure and genuine way. He never ceased to make me feel loved and extra special. He cherished me as a person, and more importantly, he cherished my heart. He loved me and pursued me passionately, but always keeping Christ at the center. He was constantly challenging me to be a better person; to love deeper, to be more selfless and giving, and to walk in confidence. He was a true man in every sense. Respecting me enough to say no at times, and standing up to be a leader when he had to. He led me with integrity, compassion, and humility. As he pursued me, he showed me every day what a Godly man looked like. He was gentle and kind, yet so full of joy. I can’t tell you the number of times girls tell me that I am so lucky to have a guy like him. Everyday that I get to wake up and fall asleep next to him, I am reminded of God’s faithfulness to my 13 year old prayers. God truly answered my prayers.
Something I think we often forget is that God created sex. He created it as a beautiful gift, and something that even He said was GOOD. Sex is powerful, and something that once you experience, know it was from a good God who loves you. But something else we often forget is that God specifically designed sex to be IN the commitment of marriage. I can’t tell you what a gift sex is! The Bible talks a lot about marriage, and about how you become “one.”There is nothing more intimate, more physical, or more emotional then having sex. Something incredible happens when you give yourself to that person. It is as if God ties you together forever. It is no longer him and her, but us. Your dreams become his dreams, your heart his heart, and your future his future. Dating Brandon for over five years, I thought I knew what love was. But I have never experienced a kind of earthly love that I have over the last year and a half of marriage with Brandon.
To all the young girls out there patiently waiting for the right guy – keep praying and trusting God. I promise you as someone who has been through this journey before, that it is SO worth it to wait for the right guy. Even if all your friends around you are in relationships or fooling around with other guys, the wait is SO worth it. Every guy can find a girl that’s slept around, but it takes a special guy to capture that heart of someone that has remained pure through it all. I promise you that if you continue to pray and trust God, He will provide you with a guy who is far better than you could ever dream of. I am proof of that! Ladies – love and respect yourselves. You were all created with a purpose, and each of you is uniquely made and beautiful. One day some guy is going to sweep you off of your feet, and love and cherish you in the way you deserve. I could write an entire book on the ways Brandon loves me; on the romantic things he does for me, the sweet notes he leaves me, or just the everyday stuff he does to show me his love. He doesn’t do it as an act, or to gain recognition, but does it because he genuinely loves and cherishes me as his wife. It is so easy to get caught up in the physical, and to allow that to be the focal point of your relationship. But a true man of God will capture your heart. He will know and take his responsibility seriously, and no matter how hard it may get, he will stand up for what is right even in the most difficult situations.
To everyone out there reading this that may have gone too far in a relationship, or has already had sex before, I want to share this with you: IT IS OKAY. You see, we serve a God full of grace, compassion, and forgiveness. Maybe you have gone too far before, or maybe you’re currently in a relationship you know isn’t right. The beautiful thing about life is that every day is a new day. Every morning you wake up is a gift, a new chance. God forgives, and takes broken situations and turns them into something beautiful. Our God redeems and restores. Guys, if you’ve already gone too far before, make today the day you put your foot down and make a change. Make a new vow to yourself, to your future spouse, and to God that you will wait. No matter how hard it gets, or how many people around you are having sex, I promise you that it is possible to wait. Brandon and I are proof of it!
I have heard SO many people share with me about their struggles, and how they try time and time again but always seem to fall. I want to offer you this piece of advice: Only HE can truly give you the power to overcome temptation. You see, often times we try to do things on our own, and realize that we fail again and again. We wonder why we can’t change, or why we keep making the same mistakes. Our human flesh is weak. But only Christ can transform your heart and your desires. I encourage you all to be in the Word and in prayer everyday. Ask God to turn your eyes to things above, and not on things here on earth. Sometimes all it takes is a change in perspective. As your heart begins to change, so do your desires and actions.
If you’re struggling, or just in need of prayer or encouragement, please reach out to me! I would love to talk to you, encourage you, and pray for you. I think one of the biggest things in any relationship is accountability. Be vulnerable with those closest to you. Have people checking in on you and making sure you are remaining strong. And when the pressure gets toughs, ask for help. I am more than willing to talk to anyone struggling, and help you stay accountable. I am praying for each one of you reading this! If I could do it, you can too. I believe in you!!